Train part two

So I'm on another train. This time heading home alone.
#2 daughter was supposed to come home with me but
she opted to stay one more week with her older sister.
I love that they are such good friends and that they love
spending time together.

But as I sit here, I feel like I've lost something. I am so
proud of the both of them. They are talented and smart
and funny. It was wonderful seeing them both shine. So
why am I about to cry? They don't need me anymore.
I'm feeling vaguely the same way I did when we left my
son at university. Driving away, watching him disappear
into the crowd, I couldn't help thinking I wasn't done being
his mother yet. I kept thinking that there was some truly
important life lesson that I had forgotten to teach him. Like
look both ways before crossing the street or not to take
candy from strangers. And how was he going to get along
without me? The real question was how was I going to get
along without him.

You put all this time and energy and sweat and tears into
raising your kids. You yell at them and laugh with them and
cry about them. You hope that they will grow up and become
capable adults. So why am I feeling sad that they are?
I guess even though it is what is supposed to happen, it's
still kind of a loss. So maybe that is why I want to cry.

Or maybe I'm just going to get my period.