Control and other issues

So the FIL had a meltdown yesterday. He is railing against having no control in his life. As far as he is concerned, if he can no longer live on his own and own a car and a house he is as good as dead. Now that kind of reaction seems a little extreme to me. Here is a couple that for most of their lives, had things go pretty well. No major illnesses, no major tragedies. They travelled to Florida and Vegas and California. They pretty much lived life as they wanted to, with little regard to the consequences. Then Joe died. Then we moved them (read "stole") from their house. Then Jimmy died. Then he ran her over with the scooter and after a bout in rehab they ended up with us. From any perspective, the last year in particular has been pretty shitty. But if you can just pull back from it a little, the majority of it has been really good. Surrounded by family and good friends.

So, what causes the bitterness and despair? My father thinks that the closer you get to the end, the more magnified things become. So that things that you would have easily brushed off earlier in your life, become things you can't let go. I hope that it is not true for everyone. I would hate to end my life that way.

We had a funny conversation after dinner the other night. We asked them how they had met. Her mother used to buy groceries at the store on Grant Street. One day she brought Emma with her. When I asked her if it was love at first sight she said "No!" She thought he was arrogant and cocky. Although that didn't stop her from asking him to escort her to a dance. Of course that was after the guy she wanted to go with couldn't. So he did take her and then proceeded to fall asleep on a couch in the dance hall. She was so upset that she went home alone. We never did hear how they fell in love. He told a story about how he wanted to take her to the movies to see a cowboy picture and she didn't want to go. He told her that he would be there at 7 pm to pick her up and she better be ready to go. For some reason, she was! He took her to the show and just as she was beginning to enjoy it he said, ok lets go! I just wanted to prove that you should go! For all I am worth , I don't understand that mentality! It was a different time, I know, but still.

I am glad that my husband is not like that. I'd have to deck him.

On a side note, we were trying to find out who his favorite cowboy was. I found a great website that listed a lot of old cowboys, who played them, even what the name of their horses were. After naming off all the greats, Tex Ritter, John Wayne, Gene Autry, Roy Rogers, I hit upon Randolph Scott. He finally agreed that he thought that was who it was. A real man's man.
After doing some research about him online, it turns out that he was rumored to have had an affair with Cary Grant! Yup! A real man's man! If you get a chance, look up his wiki sight. There is a beautiful picture of him and Cary Grant in the pool. Two more beautiful men, there never were!