taking a knee

I usually don’t comment about divisive political things. I never have liked confrontation and have almost always been the one to back down during one. I have tended to keep my head down and my opinions to myself.  Oh, I could be outspoken about certain things, but they were mostly generic and didn’t have much of a cost associated in with siding with it.  Well, then along came two strong, independent, outspoken women into my life.  My daughters. They began pointing things out to me. Things that were wrong.  Things that were disrespectful to women. Things that were unfair to people of color. Things that have been the status quo for so long, you just don’t even think that much about them anymore.  At first, I would balk and try to say “well that was just the time, then” or “it’s just a movie”  But as time went on, it really started to bother me.  Watching old movies or TV shows with their depiction of minorities and women…it was brutal!  Not funny or entertaining.  But they were just movies.  Not a big deal to give up or make a big stink about. 
Roll forward to the woman’s march last year.  I was shocked at some of the things that I saw posted about it.  How awful women were treating other women.  So I said something.  Just a small Facebook post with a link to a very well written article.  I got some very nice feedback and a little backlash, but not too bad.  I think a lot of friends just didn’t comment.  And that’s okay.

Now we move into this year.  I am now the grandmother to three beautiful granddaughters.  So now I am being looked at by more women. And Donald Trump is elected President.  I was blindsided, as I think a lot of people were.  How could we as a civilized society put someone who has such disdain for women,  in control of the country?  But again, I kept my head down.  This issue would divide my family if I started getting outspoken about it.  There are members of my family who are sure that he is the best thing for our country.  Only time will tell with that, although the first 8 months have been disappointing in some ways and downright scary in others.

And then Colin Kaepernick took a knee.  I didn’t really pay attention at first.  But as time wore on and the more I read and talked to people, it started feeling like this was going to be an instance of needing to speak up.  I read a couple of interesting articles recently, and it brought more of the controversy into perspective.

In an article in the NY Times, a reporter spoke to fans at different games around the country this past Sunday.  Here are some of the remarks;

“Football is such an escape, no one should be politicizing it.  Why is the president commenting on the N.F.L.? Doesn’t he have bigger things to think about?”  “This is unfair to the fans. I didn’t come here to deal with this.”

“If you want to protest, go somewhere else. I think if they did it in a different platform, more people would listen.”

One fan said she did not like the protests. “It’s a football game,” she said. “They’re here to play the game. Maybe after they retire they can go into politics like a lot of them do.”  Sports is meant to be a departure.”

My question would be, where or when exactly would it be convenient for you to have them protest? These kinds of comments fall into the same category as those who protest when an actor will use the stage at an award ceremony to speak up about something that they are concerned about.  “You’re not paid to give me your opinion, just act and do your job and keep your opinions to yourself”
“No one cares what some liberal actor in Hollywood thinks."  Well the last time I checked, those actors were American citizens, and so are those football players.
And here’s the thing, freedom of speech is for everyone in this country.  Not just those who share the same opinion. Not just those who work blue collar jobs.  Not just those who vote for a specific party.  Everyone.  And it you want the benefit of the freedoms granted to you in our constitution, then you have to realize that they are there for every other citizen of this country.
But there were other opinions in that article as well;

“Kneeling was a respectful act, done quietly and not interfering with anyone else’s rights.”

“They’re protesting because people are dying,” said Jesse Melendez, 29, of Dix Hills, N.Y. “People don’t get mad when people are shot or killed, but they’re getting mad because a football player is kneeling. The double standard is crazy.”

“As far as I’m concerned, that’s why I’m in the military, to give him the right to express himself any way he wants to, short of yelling ‘fire!’ in a crowded theater,”

“Kneeling as a protest is unobtrusive, nonviolent, it’s a silent protest. Silent but visual.”

Jay Kemp, a former Marine who was with his family at a fan fest near the Charlotte stadium, said he personally would not take a knee during the national anthem but said he fought for the right of anyone else to do so. “I find it hard to swallow that the president would attack professional athletes for their freedom of speech, and a freedom that I spent 21 years protecting,” Mr. Kemp said. “They could be exercising their freedom of speech to promote hate or promote something else. But they’re doing it in a nonviolent fashion and they’re exercising their right.” Besides, he said, kneeling is not about disrespecting the country.

“It’s a protest against police brutality and racism,” he said. And it has inspired him to teach his son, who is 7, to stand up for what he believes is right.

Eric Reid, teammate of Colin Kaepernick spoke on why he chose to kneel with his teammate.

“We spoke at length about many of the issues that face our community, including systemic oppression against people of color, police brutality and the criminal justice system. We also discussed how we could use our platform, provided to us by being professional athletes in the N.F.L., to speak for those who are voiceless.”

“After hours of careful consideration, and even a visit from Nate Boyer, a retired Green Beret and former N.F.L. player, we came to the conclusion that we should kneel, rather than sit, the next day during the anthem as a peaceful protest. We chose to kneel because it’s a respectful gesture. I remember thinking our posture was like a flag flown at half-mast to mark a tragedy.”

“It baffles me that our protest is still being misconstrued as disrespectful to the country, flag and military personnel. We chose it because it’s exactly the opposite. It has always been my understanding that the brave men and women who fought and died for our country did so to ensure that we could live in a fair and free society, which includes the right to speak out in protest. It should go without saying that I love my country and I’m proud to be an American. But, to quote James Baldwin, ‘exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.’”

He finished the article by saying that he wants to be a man who is remembered for standing up for what was right, even though it was not the popular or easy choice.  He quoted Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., saying “A time comes when silence is betrayal.”

I have 5 strong women in my family, watching me.  Waiting to see if I will be silent. I want to be remembered for standing up for what is right, even though it may not be popular or easy.

I know that some people will not be happy with my stance on this issue.  That's okay.  I love them anyway.  My hope would be that in continuing the conversation, we can find more common ground and maybe a way through the divisiveness that is becoming so pervasive in our country.  I may lose some friends on Facebook, but I hope that I will have made the women in my life proud. 

I am invisible.  I know what you are thinking. You're thinking I meant to say invincible. But I didn't.

I have known that I am invisible for a long time now. I am invisible when I am by myself and when I am with someone else.  Let me clarify.  I have wonderful friends, who when I am around them I am NOT invisible.  I am included in conversations and listened to when I talk about something.  I have even had times when people have seemed to hang on my every word.  It's wonderful!

I am more specifically talking about when I am out in public.  I have walked through very public spaces; stores, concerts, streets, churches. People walk past and most of the time don't even look at me.  I have stood at Home Depot trying to load 4 x 8 sheets of drywall onto my cart and have had employees walk right by me. I have had people step in front of me when I've been in line at the grocery store or at a venue.  No excuse me, no I'm so sorry. Nothing.  The latest happened at a function I went to with a couple of co-workers.  There were about 600 people there. It was crowded and loud.  I "sorry-ed" and "excuse me-d" my way around the place.  We would be stopped occasionally by someone who knew one of the women I was with.  They'd gush over her and make small talk. Look past me to the other woman we were with and remark about how beautiful her top was and then go on their way!  One man, standing in front of me in a line for the bar, literally turned around and shouted in my face to his girlfriend who was behind me.  I could see his eye's slowly focus on my face, a look of mild confusion on his. Then he moved towards me and sideways to see her. His action was a non-touching way of moving me off to the side.  I was nobody.  He was irked that I was in the way.  Was in his space.  It was rude and offensive.  It was also unnerving.  I was so utterly unimportant.  Someone at church, someone I know, walked past the pew I was sitting in and sit down in front of me.  When I touched his shoulder to say he, he turned around and said "oh, Tracey, I didn't even see you there"  : (

When I am out with certain people in my life, we have no trouble getting attention. Waiters, staff at stores, strangers even.  They stop and help and talk.  But it's to the people I am with, not with me.  Is it because they have big, bold personalities where I tend to be quieter, more reserved?  Is it because they are tall and slim and I tend to be shorter and, lets face it , fatter?  Or am I just that ordinary that I'm not worth the time.

I am okay with this most of the time. Like I said, it's been something I've dealt with for a long time. May be it's my super power. Truth be told I would rather have had the ability to fly, but this could be helpful in certain situations. 

What it does do is make me wonder about other people. Specifically people I have over looked in my travels.  I know we get busy and we have a lot of things that run through our heads all day long.  But I know how nice it is when someone acknowledges my presence, even if it's just for a few seconds in a grocery line.

Something for me to work on.
What I don't need to work on is my invincibility! That is a done deal!